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Therapy vs. Life Coaching - Reframing Your Past and Present Reading | Tender Response

Updated: Nov 16, 2023

Therapy vs. Life Coaching - Reframing Your Past and Present Reading with Vicky Pool.

Therapy vs. Life Coaching - Reframing Your Past and Present Reading

In the quest for personal growth, improved communication, and a fulfilling life, many individuals turn to professional support. Two popular avenues are therapy and life coaching. These powerful tools share common goals but have distinct methods and focuses. In this blog post, we'll explore the key differences between therapy and life coaching, highlighting how therapy reframes your past while coaching empowers you to reframe your present, shaping a brighter future. Whether you're an individual with autism or anyone seeking self-improvement, understanding these distinctions can guide your journey toward personal success.

Therapy: Delving Into Your Past:

Therapy, often guided by licensed therapists, serves as a safe space to address past experiences, emotions, and mental health challenges. It offers a structured approach to understanding and healing psychological wounds. This is especially valuable for individuals facing conditions like autism, where emotional well-being and effective communication can be complex.

How Therapy Reframes Your Past:

Imagine therapy as a journey into the depths of your past. It's like a linguistic archaeologist, unearthing layers of experiences, traumas, and emotions that may have remained buried. Through introspection and therapeutic techniques, you gain insights into how your past has shaped your current behavior, emotions, and language patterns.

  • Healing Emotional Wounds: Therapy helps you confront and heal emotional wounds from your past, providing relief and emotional freedom.

  • Understanding Behavior: By exploring your past, therapy helps you understand why you react to certain situations, laying the groundwork for change.

  • Transforming Limiting Beliefs: It allows you to identify and challenge limiting beliefs that hinder effective communication and personal growth.

Life Coaching: Empowering Your Present:

Life coaching, led by certified life coaches, is a future-focused, goal-oriented approach. It aims to empower individuals to clarify their goals, improve communication skills, and achieve personal or professional aspirations. It's a beneficial path for personal development, career growth, or enhancing your language and communication skills.

How Coaching Reframes Your Present:

Unlike therapy, which dwells in the past, coaching is all about the here and now. It's like having a linguistic architect by your side, helping you construct a more fulfilling present and future.

  • Goal Setting: Life coaching guides you in setting clear, achievable goals, whether in communication, personal growth, or career advancement.

  • Effective Communication: Coaches refine your language and communication skills, helping you navigate social situations more confidently.

  • Overcoming Challenges: It equips you with strategies to overcome obstacles, transforming you into a skilled problem solver.

Integrating Therapy and Coaching:

The beauty lies in finding balance between these two approaches. For instance, someone on the autism spectrum may find value in therapy to address past traumas and emotional challenges, while simultaneously working with a life coach to enhance their communication skills, set goals, and build a brighter future. By doing so, they tap into the power of both reframing their past and reshaping their present.

Embrace Your Unique Journey

In your journey toward personal growth, effective communication, and empowerment, the choice between therapy and life coaching depends on your unique needs and goals. Therapy delves into your past, offering healing and understanding, while life coaching equips you with tools for the present and future. Whether you're seeking assistance as an individual with autism or on a quest for self-improvement, remember that your journey is yours to shape. Embrace the power of reframing, and unlock your full potential for a brighter, more fulfilling life.

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Don't let communication barriers hold you back. Elevate your skills, and let Vicky Poole guide you on your journey to success! 💪🎉

Don't let communication barriers hold you back. Elevate your skills, and let Vicky Poole guide you on your journey to success!

Why is communication so important?

Why have I gone on my own journey?

If you were ever shunned or shamed by asking questions as a child, you are 10 times more likely to shy away from asking questions, asking for what you want or holding boundaries with people.

Over time, you learn that your opinions don’t matter and in order to be liked by other people, you need to give in. To submit. To roll over.

What eventually happens is that you feel that you just want one thing for YOU, just ONE. And when you ask for it, it is so sharp that people around you get whiplash and 2 more things happen.

1 – You don’t enjoy the thing you wanted and got.

2 – You feel the need to apologise for your behaviour.

BUT… What if instead…

You learnt how to ask for what you wanted?

Or maybe, set boundaries with people?

Or even, find the courage to ask people for support?

In 2011, I hit an overwhelming point and gave people around me whiplash by being so vocal (and stubborn) about the things that I needed and refused to be swayed – if everyone’s opinion mattered, then mine must also (right?!)

Instead of being shammed and shunned into a corner again, I went on a journey to improve my communication skills. I pushed myself forward and tried new techniques that I was learning.

The things that had the biggest impacts were:

1 – Use I statements. Where something is about ME and how I feel, then it is never about the other person. So I’m not throwing my judgements around. It’s all about me.

2 – Positive Action Language. Wherever possible, I would use positive wording rather than “not something else”. Something became ‘bad’ rather than ‘not good’ and so on. Our brains look for an understanding on things that are true. When we say what something is not, we are giving one false statement, rather than a true one. It breeds uncertainty and can cause antagonism.

3 – Gained Feedback. I desensitized myself to feedback. I learnt that by hearing some one else's perspective, it didn’t mean that I needed to change. What it did was allow me to understand how I could communicate more effectively with that person in the future.

4 – Sought help. There are trainers out there who are brilliant and I was fortunate enough to tap into YouTube videos, Books, webinars, Tutorials and one on one coaching near me to adjust my language. When learning new skills, it is vitally important to get as much training material as possible. Only some of it will be useful now, some of it may be useful for later – the experience is the most important of all.

5 – Accountability. One of the benefits of one on one coaching was that chance to be held accountable. As a sales person, I was already accountable for my sales target, so I was comfortable with being accountable for my actions. This was incredibly useful at helping me to make changes.

Throughout my training and learning, I learnt so much more about myself that I thought possible. I learnt that I love structure and order. I also learnt that I’m impulsive and am prone to knee jerk reactions.

To minimize those pesky knee jerk, whiplash causing reactions, I developed a series of stock responses that can be easily rolled out when I become triggered, or am in a triggering situation. Each stock response is used to give my brain time to process whats happening, to give me space so I can safely navigate the situation, and to quieten the need for a knee jerk reaction.

Throughout my learning, I also uncovered that I am neuro-diverse. This has helped me to rationalize why I hate change so much, really struggle with social norms and so many other things.

Thankfully with my learning journey on feedback (in particular) I’ve been able to flex my approach with different people and find ways around them. As a dyslexic, I’ve always had my own learning style and learn through practice. Being open to feedback, and learning how to receive feedback has been critical for me and my personal development.

Why communication? Why was this so important?

As human beings, we are social beings. We interact with others and live in groups. Things are so much easier if you can be understood by others. Knowing how to say something, when to say something and what to say can sway a relationship toward you – or away from you.

I’ve learnt that stock responses are a brilliant get out and can be used by anyone – especially those people who like order and structure. Yes I’m talking to autistic, ADHD and persons seeking tips for assertiveness.

Do they work every time? No. About 95%.

But the second stock response that I roll out on those 5% of occasions does work.

I'm often asked if I get it right all of the time – the answer is of course no. No one can get everything right all of the time. However with my commitment to learning and retraining by brain from my old cognitions, I am able to make systematic changes to my life.

To anyone reading this who is still wondering if learning new communicative skills is for you… ask yourself the following.

Do I want more of the things I want?

Am I prepared to feel a little uncomfortable to get it?

Do I want to learn skills and pass them onto my children/family?

Do I want to have some control over how others treat me?

Are you impatient enough to want it now?

If you answered YES to the above then you are ready to take the next step.

Click the link to schedule your FREE call with Vicky Poole now

Learn more about Vicky's coaching expertise: LINK

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